


REACH OUT, SEE ME, HOLD ME

by orphan_account



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-19 23:59:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10650795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Negan is in bed with Carl just cuddling when he uncovers Carl's dark secret





	REACH OUT, SEE ME, HOLD ME

They're both lying on top of the covers of his bed with only a thin blanket covering them, both enjoying a moment of peace and solitude before being dragged back to the land of the dead. Carl is lying in his arms, his body curved into a tight ball as he presses himself into his chest. The hand of the arm that is wedged beneath his small frame is tangled in his silky hair, cupping the back of his head. Carl whimpers softly, mutters his name, and buries his face further into his chest.  
Negan starts to move his hand further down Carl's body, brushing his fingers lightly down his arms. It takes him a few seconds to notice that Carl's usual baby soft skin feels kind of rough under his fingertips.  
Negan grabs his arm and tries to lift it at eye sight, but Carl stiffens besides him and tries to draw his arm away.  
Negan has none of it and uses his strength to pull Carl's arm towards him and pulls up his sleeve up. Negan is hit with what he sees; thin lines and several cuts decorates Carl's arm.  
"What the hell is this?" Negan growls  
"No...Nothing just scraped my arm while working the fence…" Carl answers him without looking at him  
"Doesn't look like a fucking scrape to me!" Negan yells which finally makes Carl look up to him.  
Both of them stare at each other, neither wants to back down  
"Take off your shirt Carl"  
Carl swallows hard "What!"  
"I said take off your fucking shirt" Negan hisses from between his teeth  
"No!" Carl says almost in a whisper  
"Do you want me to fuckn' hold you down and take it off of you myself, because believe me neither of us would like the outcome of it" Negan says, his eyes turning dark.  
"Please, please don't make me do this" Carl says almost in tears  
Negan takes a deep breath and holds his shoulders "I am not making you do anything thing kid, just show me!"  
Carl stays quite for a few minutes before he speaks  
"Can you let me go?" he asks him and Negan realizes that he's been clutching Carl more tightly.  
He relaxes his arms and Carl sits up, letting the blankets fall until they are bunched around his waist. When he pulls the thin cotton shirt over his head and lets it fall to the bed beside him, his breath catches in his throat.  
"WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!" Negan is sure the entire sanctuary has heard his yells by now.  
Decorating both of Carl's arms are several cuts, some small some big, some seems weeks old and some is still bleeding. There are so many of them; that the cuts almost reach his shoulder. Shoulders that he notices now are shaking from crying.  
Negan looks up and sees Carl with tears down his face, whimpers escaping his lips.  
He buries down his anger deep down, and reaches out to Carl who flinches  
"It's ok, I am sorry I yelled" He says while pulling him into his chest and stroking his hair. Carl clutches his shirt and starts crying and shaking between his arms.  
He takes a deep breath "Why! Why would you do something like this to yourself?"  
"I…" Carl says in tears "I just do it when I get those feelings, when I get so angry and I am afraid that I might hurt or kill someone again. So instead I just do it to myself"  
Negan can't believe what he's hearing, so much pain and anger for such a young kid. He pulls Carl under his chin and holds him tighter.  
"How about the next time you get those fuckn' feelings you come and see me, hell I will even let you slice and dice me all you want. God knows I actually deserve it." He hears Carl chuckle at this  
"I am serious though no more of this, or I fucking swear I will handcuff you to my arm 24/7" He says seriously and feels Carl nodding his head.  
After staying in this position for a while Negan gets up to get the First aid kit from his bathroom, and quickly works on patching up the still bleeding cuts on both of Carl's arms.  
"There good as fuckn new"  
Carl lets out a shaky laugh and lies back down besides Negan, not bothering to put him shirt back on. When he curls up in his arms again, Negan is momentarily distracted by the way his skin feels against his. They are lying practically nose to nose and his arms are holding his in place. He hasn't made love to him yet but he spends almost every night lying in bed beside him, yeah they kissed and have done some things but never went that far. It's not only because of how fuckn' young Carl is, but because how different he is. He nothing like his previous wives that he got rid of, he hadn't wanted to push him into anything he's not ready for.  
Carl pulls him out of his thoughts then.  
"You can't protect me from everything, you know that right!" Carl says lightly.  
Negan brushes his lips across his.  
"The fuck I can, just watch." Him eyes close but before he can fall back to sleep, he swallows his own nerves and tells him what he's wanted to for a long fuckn' time.  
"Carl?" He doesn't open him eyes but he hums and he knows that he heard him.  
"I love you…" he tells him, his hand reclaiming its position at the back of him head, holding him close, brushing his lips with his while murmuring again "I love you."  
Carl smiles "I know, Negan" he murmurs, "I love you, too."  
Negan smiles and closes his eyes.  
"Hey Negan you know what?" Carl asks all of a sudden  
"What?"  
Carl moves his lips towards Negan's ear and whispers "I think I like that handcuff idea"


End file.
